The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake.
He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move.
Then one of the ladies said, “You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.”
“Impossible’, said the embarrassed man, ‘You really know what I think?”
“Yes”, the lady replied, “Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.”
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some fruit trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there in a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
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As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond.”
Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”
While sports fishing off the Florida coast in Key West, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber walking on the shore, the tourist shouted, “There wouldn’t by chance be any alligators in these waters?!”
He asks in panic. “No,” the old man hollered back, “haven’t been any for years!”
Feeling relieved, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway toward shore he asked the old man, “Say, how’d you get rid of the gators, anyway?”
“We didn’t do anything,” the old man said. “The sharks got ’em.”
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In 1993, a deaf baby was left on my doorstep. I took on the role of his mother, but I had no idea what the future would hold for him.
